I Resolve

When we say "resolve" on the last day of the year, we are using Merriam Webster's fifth definition of the term: "to reach a firm decision about."

But resolve is so much more: "to break up, separate; dissolve, melt; to make clear or understandable; to make (as voice parts) progress from dissonance to consonance; to work out the resolution of."

Then there is also re-solve. In this age of Sherlock Holmes as action figure star, there is no room for the backward momentum of re-solve. There is only punch and thrust and shoot and jab--unstoppable forward motion.

But re-solve is what you are obsessed with now. To bring the rattle to your mouth once is not enough; each sound, each hand-eye coordination puzzle must be done over and over again. Fist rubbing eye, fingers stroking the creases of my shirt, squeal sliding over your tongue. Again and again. To solve and re-solve your place in the world.

This year I will take up the fourth definition, the movement from dissonance to consonance, especially with my voice parts. You are watching everything now. Never judging us, but absorbing everything we do. When you give all this back to us--in words and gestures, syntax and shouts--this will be the greatest judgment of all.

So: less swearing, less shouting at your father, less making up lewd lyrics to fit into your baby songs. This I resolve.

Well, maybe the lewd lyrics are OK for another month or two.